Thanks, Dan, for figuring out how to post on the blog without logging into that elephant account! You probably still have to log in as an elephant to make changes to the blog or add stuff, but at least you can post with your own gmail account! John and Pat, I know you guys have gmail accounts. John, you made yours that one time when we tried google chat. Your address is johntagg97@gmail.com, and no, that's not a typo that it's missing the "s", that what it really is. I just figured you didn't like your last name and always wanted to known as John Tagg! Kinda like when Homer changes his name to Max Power because it sounds cooler, and then he sings this song, "MAX POWER!!! He's the guy you want to touch, but you mustn't tooooooooooouuuuuuuccccchhh!"
Anyway, I just got back from Lake Powell an hour ago, and I got a ticket on the way back! LAME! Even worse, it was from some chic cop. Remember when that chic pulled us over when we were taking all the flags down in our ward on July 24th? Hahahaha, she was such a B! She totally didn't believe that we were supposed to be taking them down and we were just stealing them! So we told her we were Boy Scouts and she said, "Oh yeah! Well if you're boy scouts then where are your uniforms?!?" Hahaha, what a B!
Anyway, I'm sort of wondering what Dan is doing watching all these hot chics on webcams....hmmm....sounds a little fishy to me, although I did like your idea of a talking Jim Thomas. Continue onward!!!
Friday, June 13, 2008
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLOG BLOG BLOG BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLOG BLOG BLOG BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Look Who's the Individual - Follow Me, I Know the Way!
Heeeeeey Guuuuuuys! Just thought I'd show you how I'm adding this entry from some account OTHER than the blog account. Now I don't have to log out of my email and then log back in as an elephant just to make a post! Its great, I won't lie.
While I'm on the subject of blogging, I was on YouTube the other day and I ran into this video blogger's posts. Its some college chick in New York that makes like 5 videos a week but she never plans what she's going to say. And you know what? It turned out just like you'd expect - a bunch of boring, incoherent ramblings about crap. But that's not the point. The point is, she apparently has TONS and TONS of subscribers to her crappy video channel, each one of them lapping up the garbage that she spews and transforms into 100100010110101101010101s. (That reminds me of a funny qutoe: "There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: Those who understand binary and those who don't.") This chick posts crap about how "kids these days" are texting and IM'ing all day instead of playing in the backyard like she did. I swear she can't be older than 20. Gimme a break, like she was raised outside of this technical age or whatever, and she's really appalled at how digital everything is? I couldn't help but think that she was just feigning outrage and incredulity because she couldn't think of anything else to say (b/c it was impromptu and crap). But I will give her this: outside of her nightcrawler eyebrows, she was pretty hot.
As I was pondering this in the past week, I discovered another similar situation. Some random chick that spends a lot of time making videos which aren't very good or entertaining but that have like 1 million views or something. And she talks about how she gets all these requests, and she's just got to appease her many fans, so of course she'll oblige. So she makes some other random video that's totally pointless (and that I watched). Then it dawned on me after watching a stupid video she made where she pretended she was rambo (This production values on this video, I might add, rivaled those we employed in the Joe Joe movies, especially the part where the little guy spun around on my bedroom fan before smashing into the window). Anyway, as we all know, Rambo wears either a tank top or no shirt at all. This chick chose the tank top, and surprise surprise, she's not lacking in the shirt-filling department. That's the connection. No ones watching these lame vidoes b/c these chicks are great filmakers or because they've got interesting insights into the world - they're watching them b/c they want to get an eyeful. 1 million hits worth of horny teenagers (and I'm sure another 500,000 horny 40 somethings).
So I've decided to follow their leads and make my own video blog (vlog). It will be me and a camera pointed directly at my crotch. No clothes, and no pretension. Just a puppet string attached to my dong to make it look like he's talking at you. First installment will be made right here on this blog, so stay tuned!
While I'm on the subject of blogging, I was on YouTube the other day and I ran into this video blogger's posts. Its some college chick in New York that makes like 5 videos a week but she never plans what she's going to say. And you know what? It turned out just like you'd expect - a bunch of boring, incoherent ramblings about crap. But that's not the point. The point is, she apparently has TONS and TONS of subscribers to her crappy video channel, each one of them lapping up the garbage that she spews and transforms into 100100010110101101010101s. (That reminds me of a funny qutoe: "There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: Those who understand binary and those who don't.") This chick posts crap about how "kids these days" are texting and IM'ing all day instead of playing in the backyard like she did. I swear she can't be older than 20. Gimme a break, like she was raised outside of this technical age or whatever, and she's really appalled at how digital everything is? I couldn't help but think that she was just feigning outrage and incredulity because she couldn't think of anything else to say (b/c it was impromptu and crap). But I will give her this: outside of her nightcrawler eyebrows, she was pretty hot.
As I was pondering this in the past week, I discovered another similar situation. Some random chick that spends a lot of time making videos which aren't very good or entertaining but that have like 1 million views or something. And she talks about how she gets all these requests, and she's just got to appease her many fans, so of course she'll oblige. So she makes some other random video that's totally pointless (and that I watched). Then it dawned on me after watching a stupid video she made where she pretended she was rambo (This production values on this video, I might add, rivaled those we employed in the Joe Joe movies, especially the part where the little guy spun around on my bedroom fan before smashing into the window). Anyway, as we all know, Rambo wears either a tank top or no shirt at all. This chick chose the tank top, and surprise surprise, she's not lacking in the shirt-filling department. That's the connection. No ones watching these lame vidoes b/c these chicks are great filmakers or because they've got interesting insights into the world - they're watching them b/c they want to get an eyeful. 1 million hits worth of horny teenagers (and I'm sure another 500,000 horny 40 somethings).
So I've decided to follow their leads and make my own video blog (vlog). It will be me and a camera pointed directly at my crotch. No clothes, and no pretension. Just a puppet string attached to my dong to make it look like he's talking at you. First installment will be made right here on this blog, so stay tuned!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
2 Pet Peeves
Well I will be completely honest here, as I feel that this is a "safe" place to express my feelings. I feel that what I say and type here will not be seen by anyone nor shared with those that have "questionable intent". I feel that I can open up and share my intimate secrets here.
Having said all this, I would like to express 2 pet peeves I have recently discovered. I have found as I am getting older and older that I am becoming a grouchy old man. My pet peeves list continues to grow, which is evident by the 2 newest members to the list. *Note. If anyway wants to see my whole list, send a check payable to Intermountain Hydronic Specialties for the appropriate amount that is listed on the back of your drivers license.
Pet Peeve 1: Ear wax. - I was sitting here reading Dan's post about music and good times long past while mindlessly playing with my ear when all of a sudden I felt something moving inside of my ear. Of course the first thought that goes through my head is that I have a spider in my ear. I thought a spider had run up my arm, onto my hand, and into my ear. That thought quickly evolutionized into the thinking of those shpooky stories you hear of where spiders lay eggs in someones ear and months later they hatch and explode the mans head. Well after the initial panic of thinking that I had spider in my ear cleared out, I decided to investigate what exactly was now inside that first little shallow pool inside my ear. To my disgust (and relief of not finding a mother spider with thousands of hatchling babies) I found a chunk of ear wax. Well the first problem of what was in my ear had been resolved, but now I had the problem of a chunk of ear wax stuck to my finger. What was I to do. I looked around and of course I didn't have any paper towels on my desk, so I looked for the 2nd best option.... my shoe. It just so happened that I had two shoes stuck to my feet beneath my desk, SCORE! I quickly wiped the wax on the bottom of my shoe....... Some might question my reasons for wiping the wax on the bottom of my shoe, but rest assured, the reasons are quite appropriate and reliable. But that is a whole different story. So anyway to make a long story a little bit shorter, I don't like ear wax much. Yea sure it has its reasons for being inside of my ear, and I appreciate those reasons, but it doesn't need to spook me into thinking I have a spider in my ear.
Pet Peeve #2: The blasted email (user name) I have to type in to log onto this blog. Oh, and the password sucks pretty bad too. Who in their right mind made it that long???? I had to check my email 7 different times just to get it typed in the "sign-in" spot right. Blah!! I had 4 failed attempts because I didn't realize there are 2 "s" next to each other...
Okay, that is all my ranting and raving for now. This is the first time I have checked the blog, and I didn't even get a chance to vote on the little poll... =( Someone closed it with out giving me a chance to vote. I mean yea sure, it was probably open for voting for a long time, and yea sure I got a couple of emails reminding me to check out this blog, BUT still...
Oh and I rather fancy this blog.
John
Having said all this, I would like to express 2 pet peeves I have recently discovered. I have found as I am getting older and older that I am becoming a grouchy old man. My pet peeves list continues to grow, which is evident by the 2 newest members to the list. *Note. If anyway wants to see my whole list, send a check payable to Intermountain Hydronic Specialties for the appropriate amount that is listed on the back of your drivers license.
Pet Peeve 1: Ear wax. - I was sitting here reading Dan's post about music and good times long past while mindlessly playing with my ear when all of a sudden I felt something moving inside of my ear. Of course the first thought that goes through my head is that I have a spider in my ear. I thought a spider had run up my arm, onto my hand, and into my ear. That thought quickly evolutionized into the thinking of those shpooky stories you hear of where spiders lay eggs in someones ear and months later they hatch and explode the mans head. Well after the initial panic of thinking that I had spider in my ear cleared out, I decided to investigate what exactly was now inside that first little shallow pool inside my ear. To my disgust (and relief of not finding a mother spider with thousands of hatchling babies) I found a chunk of ear wax. Well the first problem of what was in my ear had been resolved, but now I had the problem of a chunk of ear wax stuck to my finger. What was I to do. I looked around and of course I didn't have any paper towels on my desk, so I looked for the 2nd best option.... my shoe. It just so happened that I had two shoes stuck to my feet beneath my desk, SCORE! I quickly wiped the wax on the bottom of my shoe....... Some might question my reasons for wiping the wax on the bottom of my shoe, but rest assured, the reasons are quite appropriate and reliable. But that is a whole different story. So anyway to make a long story a little bit shorter, I don't like ear wax much. Yea sure it has its reasons for being inside of my ear, and I appreciate those reasons, but it doesn't need to spook me into thinking I have a spider in my ear.
Pet Peeve #2: The blasted email (user name) I have to type in to log onto this blog. Oh, and the password sucks pretty bad too. Who in their right mind made it that long???? I had to check my email 7 different times just to get it typed in the "sign-in" spot right. Blah!! I had 4 failed attempts because I didn't realize there are 2 "s" next to each other...
Okay, that is all my ranting and raving for now. This is the first time I have checked the blog, and I didn't even get a chance to vote on the little poll... =( Someone closed it with out giving me a chance to vote. I mean yea sure, it was probably open for voting for a long time, and yea sure I got a couple of emails reminding me to check out this blog, BUT still...
Oh and I rather fancy this blog.
John
Monday, June 9, 2008
Crazy Life
So I'm working late tonight, and I've got my iPod connected to the speaker guy and its set on random. I have exactly 4,326 songs on there, and a lot of its total garbage to be honest. But there is a lot of variety, and I've imported practically every CD I have, so there are some oldies and goodies on there.
After skipping some lame Jay-Z song that I couldn't remember ever listening to before, Crazy Life by Toad came on (the next song was Track 2 from Pimsleur's "Speak and Learn Italian" - I skipped it). At first I had a hard time placing it - I couldn't quite remember who it was. I first thought it was one of the songs from the Toad spin-off with the Ogre and the peg-leg guy, (Lapdog, that's it!), but then I remembered what it was. I remembered how awesome I thought that song was (and still do), and how it was such a gem. If I remember, it was released as a b-side or something, because you had to get it on that really hard to find Toad compilation that you could only get through the fan club or something. This was obviously before you could get every song from every band in the world online.
Matt and I spent hours trying to learn the intro. Matt got it down pretty good, but I never did. I probably got the first few changes down, but I always quit pretty early when it came to practicing the guitar (remember band practice Brandt? I wonder how many I actually attended). I usually ended up playing the rhythm portion while Matt played the solos he'd worked so hard on. Hard on! He probably got one from playing those solos. Meanwhile Brock's getting a stiffy from a big lifted jeep and Brandt from Mel. John had his cheese sandwiches. Ryan had his harem. Now the only thing that gives us stiffys is our wives. How far we've fallen.
Anyway, I'm sad that music doesn't play that same role in my life anymore. I probably listen more bands now than I did then, but my volume has decreased. I only listen late at night, or when I'm at the gym. I've switched to npr and sports talk radio in the car b/c I no longer have a massive CD case with me at all times and my car is not sophisicated enough to have a sweet iPod dock. But it probably wouldn't matter anyway. Music just isn't as important as it once was. I still play the guitar, but I don't have nearly enough time to put into to learn anything cool. I just got a new John Mayer guitar book, but I doubt I'll really be able to learn anything I'd feel comfortable playing anyone. I don't remember any of my old songs. Strange.
After skipping some lame Jay-Z song that I couldn't remember ever listening to before, Crazy Life by Toad came on (the next song was Track 2 from Pimsleur's "Speak and Learn Italian" - I skipped it). At first I had a hard time placing it - I couldn't quite remember who it was. I first thought it was one of the songs from the Toad spin-off with the Ogre and the peg-leg guy, (Lapdog, that's it!), but then I remembered what it was. I remembered how awesome I thought that song was (and still do), and how it was such a gem. If I remember, it was released as a b-side or something, because you had to get it on that really hard to find Toad compilation that you could only get through the fan club or something. This was obviously before you could get every song from every band in the world online.
Matt and I spent hours trying to learn the intro. Matt got it down pretty good, but I never did. I probably got the first few changes down, but I always quit pretty early when it came to practicing the guitar (remember band practice Brandt? I wonder how many I actually attended). I usually ended up playing the rhythm portion while Matt played the solos he'd worked so hard on. Hard on! He probably got one from playing those solos. Meanwhile Brock's getting a stiffy from a big lifted jeep and Brandt from Mel. John had his cheese sandwiches. Ryan had his harem. Now the only thing that gives us stiffys is our wives. How far we've fallen.
Anyway, I'm sad that music doesn't play that same role in my life anymore. I probably listen more bands now than I did then, but my volume has decreased. I only listen late at night, or when I'm at the gym. I've switched to npr and sports talk radio in the car b/c I no longer have a massive CD case with me at all times and my car is not sophisicated enough to have a sweet iPod dock. But it probably wouldn't matter anyway. Music just isn't as important as it once was. I still play the guitar, but I don't have nearly enough time to put into to learn anything cool. I just got a new John Mayer guitar book, but I doubt I'll really be able to learn anything I'd feel comfortable playing anyone. I don't remember any of my old songs. Strange.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
"Are you telling Jokes? I love Jokes!"
I liked that last joke so much, I thought I would revive another joke from our past. I goes like this:
A man was driving his truck down the freeway one day when he was pulled over by a police officer. The officer walked up to the driver's side window and said "Sir, are you aware you have a penguin in the back of your truck?"
The man responded, "Well, of course I am."
The officer then told the man, "Listen, I don't know what you think you're doing, but you need to take that penguin to the zoo right now."
The next day, the same police officer say the same man truck on the same freeway with the same penguin in the back. This time, however, the penguin was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and he was holding a beach ball and an umbrella. The officer pulled the man over again and said to him "I thought I told you to take that penguin to the zoo!?" The man responded "I did, and now I'm taking him to the beach!"
Best. Joke. Ever. I have distinct memories of telling that joke in Michelle Swindler's kitchen. I think it was summer time, but it might have also been when we were making (nasty) snow icecream. John, I think that was your idea, and I would like to say that I don't think it was a very good one, in retrospect. Sorry.
Dan
A man was driving his truck down the freeway one day when he was pulled over by a police officer. The officer walked up to the driver's side window and said "Sir, are you aware you have a penguin in the back of your truck?"
The man responded, "Well, of course I am."
The officer then told the man, "Listen, I don't know what you think you're doing, but you need to take that penguin to the zoo right now."
The next day, the same police officer say the same man truck on the same freeway with the same penguin in the back. This time, however, the penguin was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and he was holding a beach ball and an umbrella. The officer pulled the man over again and said to him "I thought I told you to take that penguin to the zoo!?" The man responded "I did, and now I'm taking him to the beach!"
Best. Joke. Ever. I have distinct memories of telling that joke in Michelle Swindler's kitchen. I think it was summer time, but it might have also been when we were making (nasty) snow icecream. John, I think that was your idea, and I would like to say that I don't think it was a very good one, in retrospect. Sorry.
Dan
WELCOME!
Many years ago, as the HMS Sherman set out to sea on her maiden voyage the captain, hoping to lighten the tense mood on board, told a joke:
One day an elephant felt really hungry, so he got on his bike and rode to the pharmacy. When he got there he went inside, walked up to the pharmacist and said, "I'm hungry, can I have a sandwich?" To which the pharmacist replied, "We don't sell sandwiches here, this is a pharmacy!" Unfazed, the elephant responded, "Oh, that's ok, I brought my bike!"
Confused and more than a little worried about the sanity of the man who was leading them out to sea, the USS Polliwog sailed into the sunset...
WELCOME TO THE ELEPHANTS SANDWICH BLOG!!!
This is a place to share ideas, stories, pics, videos, and the most intimate details of your private lives, because we all know that everything you post on the internet is safe no one is going to read this poop anyways!
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